Mycrazyworld: Funny quotes from Friends

Another sitcom I just love and some of its craziest lines:

"Some girl ate Monica!!!"

"Shut up! The camera adds 10 pounds."

"Oh. So how many cameras are actually on you?"

- Joey, Monica and Chandler in The One With the Prom Video

"I can't believe you two had sex in her dream."

"I'm sorry, it was a one time thing. I was very drunk and it was somebody else's subconscious."

- Ross and Chandler in The One With the Ick Factor

"What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?"

"Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? 'Help! Come quick, they're still extinct!'"

- Joey and Monica in The One With the Ick Factor

"Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say. It could say, 'Ross Geller, Good at Marriage!' Y'know? Mine's gonna say, 'Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.'"

- Phoebe in The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel

"Okay, man, I didn't want to bring this up, but Chandler is the stupidest name I've ever heard in my whole life! It's not even a name! It's barely even a word. It's kind of like 'chandelier,' but it's not. It's a stupid, stupid, non-name."

- Joey in The One With Rachel's New Dress

"Your money's mine, Green."

"Your fly's open, Gellar!!"

- Ross and Rachel in The One With All the Poker

"What are you doing?"

"You said I had to give you the chair. You didn't say anything about the cushions."

"The cushions are the essence of the chair!"

"That's right! I'm taking the essence."

- Chandler and Joey in The One Where No One's Ready

"What are you doing?"

"Making chocolate milk. You want some?"

"No thanks, I'm 29."

- Ross and Chandler in The One Where Monica and Richards Are Just Friends

"Thank you for my beautiful earrings, they're perfect. I love you."

"Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, okay?"

"Now I love you even more."

- Rachel and Ross in The One With the Two Parties

"Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?"

"Yeah, sure."

"By someone besides Monica?"

- Joey and Ross in The One With the Bullies

"Now I've upset you? What did I say?"

"It's not what you said, it's just the way you said it. Oh my god! I'm a woman!"

- Chandler and Joey in The One With Ross's Teeth

"You know, when guys hang out, they don't just drink beer and hammer up drywall."

"When girls hang out, we don't have pillow fights in our underwear."

- Chandler and Monica in The One With Ross's Teeth

"And Dad, you know that mailman you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys. Ross did!"

"Yeah, well hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing. Monica did!"

- Monica and Ross in The One Where Ross Got High

"I hate Pottery Barn, too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed."

"You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets!"

"I was tired!"

- Joey and Chandler in The One With The Apothecary Table

"Have you kissed her yet? It's awesome! I could do it forever! You know what? She... she kisses better than my mom cooks!"

- Joey in The One With The Apothecary Table

"You know what would cheer you up?"

"What?"

"I'm giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night. I think you should come."

- Ross and Joey in The One With The Apothecary Table

"Uh, Gunther, I can't pay for this right now because I'm not working, so I've had to cut down on some luxuries like, uh, paying for stuff."

- Joey in The One With The Joke

"Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom to. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffee house. First of all, the customer is always right. A smile goes a long way. And if anyone is ever rude to you: Sneeze Muffin."

- Rachel in The One With The Joke

"...because I bought a boat."

"You bought a boat?"

"That's OK, it was for a friend."

"Boy, did we make friends with the wrong sister."

- Jill, Rachel and Chandler in The One With Rachel's Sister

"That's Ursula! That's not Phoebe, that's Ursula."

"REALLY? REALLY? I can watch that. REWIND IT! REWIND IT!"

"Hey, what's up? Oh my God! What am I doing?!"

- Rachel, Joey and Phoebe in The One Where Chandler Can't Cry

"You turned me down?? How gay are you?!!"

- Jill in The One Where Chandler Can't Cry

"Oh, just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, 'Bring me food.' Two is, 'I'm with a girl, bring us food.' Three is, 'I'm lost and I can't find food'."

- Chandler in The One That Could Have Been (I)

"Wait a minute, it's perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and we're in a building that's full of beds!"

"And it's so clean!"

- Chandler and Monica in The Where Rachel Has A Baby (I)

"I feel so bad for you; I broke my leg once too."

"Oh yeah? How'd yours happen?"

"Well, it's a long story. It's kind of embarrassing. Let's just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual."

- Phoebe and Hospital Patient in The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (I)

"What is that?"

"It's the baby's buttocks, she's breech."

"Oh, thank God, I thought she had two heads."

- Ross and The Doctor in The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (II)

"You already know what your kids' names are gonna be."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I've had them picked out since I was fourteen."

"Oh no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good, isn't it?"

- Ross, Chandler and Monica in The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (II)

"I didn't propose! Unless, uh...did I? I haven't slept in forty hours, and it does sound like something I would do!"

- Ross in The One Where No One Proposes

"I can't believe it, she's asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!"

"I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again!"

- Monica and Phoebe in The One Where Emma Cries

"Please, take your time, It's an important decision. Not like, say, I don't know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin."

- Ross in The One Where Emma Cries

"Yeah, I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey."

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

- Chandler and Monica in The One With The Pediatrician

"I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking, 'Oh my God! It's David! David's here!' He's, just, He's so irresistable!"

"Really? The scientist guy?"

"Really? Chandler?"

"Continue."

- Phoebe and Monica in The One With The Pediatrician

"Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school! Yeah, were we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. Hey, remember the one where I punch you for not being cool?"

- Joey in The One With The Pediatrician

"Guys are just different. They like things that we can't understand. You know, I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend that he was an archeologist, and that I was this naughty cave women who he unfroze from a block of ice."

- Rachel in The One With The Sharks

"Joey, you don't think sharks are sexy do you?"

"No. Wait a minute, wait. What was the little mermaid?"

- Monica and Joey in The One With The Sharks

"Pheebs, who's George Stephanopoulos?"

"That's Big Bird's friend."

- Rachel and Pheobe in The One With George Stephanopoulos

"You'll find someone. I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you."

"That's easy for you to say. You found one already."

- Carol and Ross in The One With the Candy Hearts

"I figured after work, I'd pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to...woo her."

"Hey, you know what you should do? Take her back to the 1980's when that phrase was last used."

- Ross and Chandler in The One Where the Monkey Gets Away

"Stop being so testosteroney!"

"Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat."

- Phoebe and Chandler in The One With the Evil Orthodontist

"If I wanna get the money, I'm not allowed to conduct any personal experiments, if you know what I mean."

"Joey, we always know what you mean."

- Joey and Monica in The One Where Rachel Finds Out (When Joey was going to donate some sperm to analysis)

"Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea?"

"Mm...hmm."

"This man is my god!"

- Joey and Phoebe in The One Where Ross Finds Out

"Monica Im quitting, I just helped an 81 year old women put on a thong and she didnt even buy it!"

- Rachel in The One With Rachel's Crush

"Phoebe, there is no secret, okay? I didn't propose!"

"Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us you were a doctor?"

- Ross and Phoebe in The One Where No One Proposes

"If you don't like this one, I can find you a better one," (looks around restaurant) "Mike, Mike!"

- Joey in The One Where Emma Cries

"Did I leave the stove on?"

"You haven't cooked since 1996!"

- Rachel and Ross in The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner

"You got a manny!?"

- Chandler in The One With The Male Nanny

"Emma is the product of a bottle of Merlot and a 5 year old condom."

- Monica in The One With Rachel's Other Sister

"No, I want you to have a job that you love. Not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration."

"I quit, and you learn what I do?"

- Monica and Chandler in The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work

"You really think she's hot?"

"Are you kidding? If I wasn't married she'd be rejecting me right now."

- Rachel and Chandler in The One With Phoebe's Rats

"If she wants to go out there kissing guys that she barely knows, then so will I!"

- Ross in The One Where Monica Sings

"They shouldn't be having S-E-X around the B-A-B-I-E!"

- Joey in The One With The Blind Dates

"You know how, uh, the nurse said that... that Nana had... had passed? Well, she's not... quite...."

"What?"

"She's not past... she's present, she's back."

- Ross and Mrs. Gellar in One Where Nana Dies Twice

"I'm taking Ursula tonight. It's her birthday."

"Whoa... what about Phoebe's birthday?"

"When's that?"

"Tonight."

"Oh, man! What're the odds of that happening?"

- Joey and Ross in The One With Two Parts (II)

"Hey, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J'. Coincidence?

"Hey, that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'."

- Phoebe and Chandler in The One With All The Poker

"Marcel, bring me the rice, come on. Bring me the rice. Come on. Good boy, good boy. Come here, gimme the rice. Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between, 'bring me the?' and 'pee in the..."

- Ross in The One Where The Monkey Gets Away

"Hi, uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio."

"Name?"

"Holden McGroin."

- Joey and Casting Director in The One With The Fake Monica

"Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?"

"I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars!"

"Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s."

- Rachel, Joey and Chandler in The One With The Birth

"You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Father's Day, there's Mother's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day!"

"Every day is Lesbian Lover Day!"

- Susan and Ross in The One With The Birth

"I'm going to China.

"The country?"

"No, the big pile of dishes in my mom's breakroom."

- Ross and Joey in The One Where Rachel Finds Out

"Hey, Paolo. What are you doing here?"

"I do Raquel!"

- Ross and Paolo in The One With Ross's New Girlfriend

"I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with a lot of people's share of women."

- Joey in The One With Ross's New Girlfriend

"Look, would you guys grow up? This is the most natural beautiful thing in the world."

"Yeah, we know, but there's a baby sucking on it."

- Ross and Joey in The One With The Breast Milk

"Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up."

"What if we have to pee?"

"I'll cancel the sodas."

- Chandler and Joey in The One Where Ross and Rachel...You Know

"Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is?"

"Your last roommate's kidney?"

- Eddie and Chandler in The One Where Eddie Moves In

"Oh, please! That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, you know, meaningless animal sex. ...Okay, you know, that sounded so much better in my head."

- Rachel in The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies

"Ross, look. What you and I have is special. All Paolo and I ever had was?"

"Animal sex? Animal sex? So what're you saying? I mean, you're saying that, like, there's nothing between us "animal" at all? I mean there's not even like, um, a little animal? Not even... not even like... like chipmunk sex?"

- Rachel and Ross in The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies

"This is like reading about my own life. I mean, this book could have been called Be Your Own Windkeeper, Rachel."

"I don't think it would have sold a million copies, but it would have made a nice gift for you."

- Rachel and Phoebe in The One Where Eddie Won't Go

"So is he housetrained, or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay! Good... Stay! Good fake dog."

- Chandler in The One Where Eddie Won't Go

"Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself."

- Phoebe in The One Where Old Yeller Dies

"Don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends. They don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow'?"

- Richard in The One Where Old Yeller Dies

"That's easy! You just have to think of him as a... as a jar of pickles that won't open."

"So what are you saying? I should run him under some hot water and bang his head against a table?"

"No, that's what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone."

- Phoebe and Rachel in The One With The Ring

"That is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!"

"Well, you should know. You've bought like a billion of 'em."

- Ross and Rachel in The One With The Proposal (I)

"In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Let's take a second here and look at pigs. Okay, pigs don't mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and that's just an ordinary pig, not even a pig that's good at sports!"

- Chandler in The One With The Proposal (II)

"You go get her Chandler. And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, don't let her go. Trust me."

"Y'know, Richard.... You are a good guy."

"I know. I hate that!"

- Richard and Chandler in The One With The Proposal (II)

"From now on, the only one who'll be enjoying THESE hands, is ME."

- Ross in The One With Monica's Thunder

"I'm sorry, apparently I've opened the door to the past."

- Phoebe in The One With Monica's Thunder

"Maybe you can't stand the fact that your formerly fat friend is getting married before you!"

- Monica in The One With Monica's Thunder

"Take it from me: as the groom, all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name."

- Ross in The One With Rachel's Book

"Oh my God, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?"

- Chandler in The One With Rachel's Book

"What happened at dinner?"

"My parents spent the money for our wedding!"

"My God! What did you order?"

- Rachel, Monica and Phoebe in The One With Rachel's Book

"I just went to my old apartment to get you the... the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!"

"Why didn't you make a copy and... and keep it in a fireproof box, and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?"

"Because I'm normal!"

- Phoebe and Monica in The One With Phoebe's Cookies

"No! No! No! I'm not yelling at you, I'm just yelling near you. Oh God, Joey! Oh, I'm my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! I've been trying so hard not to be my mother, I did not see this coming."

- Rachel in The One With Phoebe's Cookies

"He still tells the story about how Monica tried to escape from fat camp."

"I wasn't escaping!"

"Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire?"

"I was trying to help out a squirrel."

"You were trying to eat it!"

- Ross and Monica in The One With Phoebe's Cookies

"Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says very much about you?"

"What? You mean behind my back?"

- Monica and Phoebe in The One With Rachel's Assistant

"Yesterday, at my audition, I really had to pee, and apparently, having to pee makes me a really great actor! I got a callback! So I'm drinking everything."

- Joey in The One With The Mugging

"Well, I wasn't rich like you guys! I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony! I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer."

"Your mother killer herself!"

"She was a drug dealer!"

- Phoebe and Monica in The One With The Mugging

"Baby-proofing? Why is it such a big deal now? You know, when I was a kid, it was, 'Whoops, Joey fell down the stairs! Whoops, Joey electricuted himself again'!"

- Joey in The One With The Boob Job

"If you have to call me a name, I prefer, 'Ross, The Divorcer.' It's just cooler."

- Ross in The One With The Boob Job

"So I'm out $4,000 and no one's boobs are getting any bigger?"

- Joey in The One With The Boob Job

"Oh, come on! You're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?"

How do you think I got him in the first place?"

- Rachel and Joey in The One With The Memorial Service

"Yeah, well the gay community is much more active then the dead community."

- Chandler in The One With The Memorial Service

"Oh, can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair, either. Just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses."

- Phoebe in The One With The Lottery

"No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. Um, for example, hair dryer, no, no, no. Shampoos and conditioners, ah, yes, yes, yes. Now, the salt shaker is off limits, but the salt...(pouring it into his hand)...I wish I'd thought this through."

- Ross in The One With Rachel's Dream

"I think these people have seen me before. They were requesting some of my songs. 'You suck' and 'Shut up and go home'."

- Phoebe in The One With The Rachel's Dream

"You know what, you keep playing. Because when your singing drives people inside, my bar sales will increase."

- Monica in The One With Rachel's Dream

"Oh, great. Now he knows and I don't know!"

"I'm sorry. I'm just excited about being an aunt!"

"Or an uncle!"

- Ross, Monica and Joey in The One With The Dozen Lasagnas

"Don't stare. Now, she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm waving.... Ok, that is either, 'how could you?' or, enormous breasts!'"

- Monica in The One With The Dozen Lasagnas

"If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after 20-year-old boys or--I'll end up like my mom."

- Chandler in The One With The Boobies

"She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off me. I'm not even sure what 'slathering' is, but I definitely wanna be a part of it."

- Joey in The One With The Candy Hearts

"Hey guys. Does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?" "How about Tony's? If you can finish a thirty-two-ounce steak, it's free." "Okay. Hey, does anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?"

- Ross and Joey in The One With The Stoned Guy

"If you can't talk dirty to me, how are you going to talk dirty to her? Now, tell me you want to caress my butt!"

- Joey in The One With The Stoned Guy

"Come on, you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, you know, holding claws like?"

- Phoebe in The One With The Prom Video

"What is with your nose?"

"They had to reduce it because of... of my deviated septum."

"Okay, I was wrong. That's what they used to cover Connecticut."

- Chandler and Rachel in The One With The Prom Video

"I kinda had a dream, but i don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, Come on! What if Martin Luter King had said that?"

- Joey and Chandler in The One With The Cop

"Yeah, yeah, that's her. But you know what? It doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway."

"Why?"

"Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in, like, some hot-girl parallel-universe or something."

- Joey and Monica in The One With Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss

"So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex and prove them wrong!"

"Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. I mean, just to impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over, and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat."

- Monica and Chandler in The One With Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss

"I'm the one that made this game what is!"

"Not fun anymore?"

- Monica and Chandler in The One With The Ball

"You paid a thousand dollars for a cat, when you owe me three hundred?"

"Well, I was gonna let you play with it."

- Monica and Rachel in The One With The Ball

"You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?"

- Chandler in The One Where No One's Ready

"I'm going to get one of those job things."

- Rachel in The One Where Monica Gets A Roommate

"So tell me, how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me... sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?"

- Chandler in The One With The Butt

"You always assume you're going to find somebody. But what if I NEVER find anybody? Or even worse, what if I've already found the right woman but dumped her cause she pronounces it 'supposebly'?"

- Chandler in The One Where Heckles Dies

"Just remember to wake us up before you go-go."

- Chandler in The One With All The Haste

"Well, y'know he lost his keys so he was looking for them..."

"In your mouth?!"

- Rachel and Ross in The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad

"Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box she'd made."

- Ross in The One With Rachel's Assistant

"Okay, you were right. All right, I never should have bought them! They're killing me, one toe at a time!"

- Monica in The One With Monica's Boots

"Well, then get your money back and return them."

"I can't do that either. The soles are already a little scuffed up, and the insides are filled with my blood."

- Phoebe and Monica in The One With Monica's Boots

"You gave her a key to your apartment?"

"Not just a key. I gave her the only key. I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship."

- Rachel and Ross in The One With The Creepy Holiday Card

"Our card could say 'Love, Mona and Ross'."

"We haven't said that to each other...but I think it's okay to tell it to other people."

- Monica and Ross in The One With The Creepy Holiday Card

"Do you want anything?"

"You know what I want? I want a lot of things: I want to be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day. And I want her to love me back. And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that's never gonna happen."

"We have red bagels."

"Okay."

- Gunther and Joey in The One Where Joey Dates Rachel

"We're having a girl! Sometimes I can't believe it's with you, but still... we're having a girl!"

- Rachel in The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath

"Has anyone seen my shirt? It's a button down, like a faded salmon color."

"You mean your pink shirt?"

"Faded salmon color."

"No, I haven't seen your pink shirt."

- Ross and Monica in The One With The Secret Closet

"Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged! Yeah, and it really freaked me out. And after a while I even tried to hurt you, and it just spurred you on!"

- Phoebe in The One With The Secret Closet

"So how's it going living at Ross's?"

"It's good, except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages?"

- Joey and Rachel in The One With The Birthing Video

"It haunts me! Up 'til now, the worst thing I ever saw was my father doing tequila shots off the naked house-boy. After this, I would gladly make that my screen saver."

- Chandler in The One With The Birthing Video

"Cookie and Candy?"

"The mother's name is Candy and the baby's name is Cookie. The father's name is also Cookie...Why am I friends with these people?"

- Monica and Phoebe in The One With The Birthing Video

"Your little 'Ross is dead' joke didn't work, okay? There were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the web site, nobody called my parents. So the joke, my friend, is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything. Nobody cares that I'm dead...Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!"

- Ross in The One With The Memorial Service

"I should have given you guys my black book when I got married...although it wasn't so much a book as a napkin...with Janice's phone number on it."

- Chandler in The One With Ross's Grant

"Chandler, where are your tools?"

"I left them on my bulldozer."

- Monica and Chandler in The One With The Late Thanksgiving

"No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!"

"Why not!"

"Because I already did!"

- Rachel and Phoebe in The One With The Late Thanksgiving

"Laugh it up! But the joke's on you, because we don't need to get divorced, okay? We're just gonna get an annulment."

"An annulment? Ross, I don't think surgery's the answer here!"

- Ross and Joey in The One After Vegas

"Come on! It's like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channy!"

"Okay, I gotta ask. Who calls us that?"

- Joey and Chandler in The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel

"Now, if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer."

- Phoebe in The One With Ross's Denial

"Oh, I can't believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance, I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, you know? And it wouldn't matter. Now I gotta be careful?"

"I'm sorry man. There's never a good time to...stop catching on fire."

- Joey and Chandler in The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance

"When I take a shower, she leaves me messages on the mirror."

"That's good. I love having things to read when I'm in the bathroom."

- Monica and Phoebe in The One On The Last Night

"Hurry! Monica's going to make you pack! She's got jobs for everyone! Now it's too late for me, but save yourselves! "

- Phoebe in The One On The Last Night

"Look, I need your help. I have to do something to... to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute! You guys repel women all the time!"

- Joey in The One Where Phoebe Runs

"Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance, and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?"

- Chandler in The One Where Phoebe Runs

"Well, that's gonna be tough, Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt."

"Hm, well, you're around me all the time, and you don't flirt."

"Feel little sad about that, sweetheart?"

- Joey and Monica in The One Where Phoebe Runs

"It's completely freaking him out. He's talking about moving to Vermont."

"Why?"

"He says he wants to leave the country."

- Monica and Ross in The One Where Joey Tells Rachel

"I'm not great with advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

- Chandler in The One With The Tea Leaves

"It's all going to be okay. They're just so happy that I'm not suing them, that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not be construed as a down payment on this or any other child that I may bear."

- Rachel in The One With The Tea Leaves

"No, I'm a positive person. You're like Santa Claus, on Prozac! At Disneyland! Getting laid!"

- Phoebe in The One In Massapequa

"Oh! Chi-Chi! I loved this dog! You know, Monica couldn't get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery."

"What?"

"You were the 230-pound eleven year old who rode her!"

- Ross and Monica in The One In Massapequa

"You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid."

"Just then, or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?"

- Joey and Ross in The One With Joey's Interview

"In my spare time, I read to the blind. And I'm also a mento, for kids."
"A Men...to..?"
"You know, a mento. A role-model."
"A Mento. Like the candy?"
"As a matter of fact, I do."
- Joey and The Interviewer in The One With Joey's Interview

"I just bamboozled Chandler! That's not a sexual thing."

- Ross in The One With The Baby Shower

"Rachel, you must get a nanny. You don't know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean, when you were a baby, I had full-time help. I had Mrs. Kaye."
"Mrs. Kaye! Oh, she was sweet. She taught me spanish. I actually think I remember some of it. 'Tu madre es loca'."
- Mrs. Green and Rachel in The One With The Baby Shower

"I can tell you work out. A paleontologist who works out?You're like Indiana Jones."

"I AM like Indiana Jones!"

- Phoebe and Ross in The One With The Cooking Class

"Do you not like Katie?"

"No, no... she... she was nice. I mean, she was a little slutty, but who isn't?"

"Well, I like her."

"Well, of course you did, Ross. You would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones."

- Ross and Rachel in The One With The Cooking Class

"Care to make it interesting? I'll bet you that she'll have it by this time tomorrow."

"You're on!"

"Okay, how much?"

"One hundred thousand dollars!"

"How about fifty bucks?"

"Fine, I'll call Zurich and move some money around."

- Monica and Phoebe in The One Where Rachel Is Late

"All right, let's be practical. If Ross isn't willing to do it, he's not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow Chandler! Chandler is good!"

- Monica in The One Where Rachel Is Late

"But you'll be performing a service, okay? Just think of me as a ketchup bottle. You know, sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out."
- Rachel in The One Where Rachel Is Late

"Phoebe. That's a great name."
"Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number."
- Tag and Phoebe in The One With Rachel's Assistant

"This picture is supposed to say 'Geller and Bing to be married' not 'Local woman saves drowning moron'."
- Monica in The One With The Engagement Picture

I like this one. It seems to say, 'I love you, and that's why I have to kill you'."
- Ross in The One With The Engagement Picture

"Okay! Okay! Um, Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as... Okay, forget that! That sucks! Okay? Never mind! Forget it! Um, um, okay, uh... I met, I... I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds, and, uh, became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old."
- Rachel in The One With The Nap Partners

"You broke up with a girl because she was fat?"
"Yeah. Yeah, but it was a really, really long time ago! Does she still feel bad?"
"Apparently she does."
"Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. Seriously, good luck marrying me."
- Monica and Chandler in The One With The Nap Partners

"I can't believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together...naked."
- Phoebe in The One With The Nap Partners

"I'm a professor here, uh, Ross Geller."
"Ross Geller, why do I know that name? It's, uh.... Wait! Did you write this?"
"Yes! You're the person who checked out my book!"
- Ross and A Woman in The One With Ross's Library Book

"Wow. Well, I guess it wasn't Cupid who brought her here."
"No, just a regular old flying dwarf."
- Rachel and Phoebe in The One With Ross's Library Book

"Hey, you guys know that your oven doesn't work?"
"But the drawer full of take-out menus is ok, right?"
- Monica and Joey in The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs

"I'm gonna hang this basket on the door, and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece."
"But we don't know the neighbors."
- Monica and Chandler in The One With All The Candy

"Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then, uh... then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch."
- Rachel in The One With All The Candy

"I've been working here at this meaningless, dead-end job, and nobody even knows I exist."
"...Chandler?"
- Earl and Phoebe in The One With The Holiday Armadillo

"Hey, Phoebs, if you want to get Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball or a vile of small-pox to release in the hallway?"
- Chandler in The One With The Holiday Armadillo

"Ow! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when... Oh! A quarter!"
- Ross in The One Where They're Up All Night

"That's my roommate Rachel."
"Oh, that explains all the women's underwear!"
"Sure...yep."
- Joey and Cecilia in The One Where They're Up All Night

"Please don't be a spaceship. Please don't be a spaceship. Oh, thank God! (Beep) How could you be beeping? I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can...(Beep) Don't interrupt me!"
- Phoebe in The One Where They're Up All Night

"It's not a big deal!"
"Of course it's a big deal! You wanted to hook up with Batman, and instead you ended up with Robin!"
"This is so wrong!"
"I know! Robin is so gay!"
- Monica, Chandler and Phoebe in The One Where Rosita Dies

"Okay, I don't need any toner because I'm going to kill myself."
"Um... is... is that because you're out of toner?"
- Earl and Phoebe in The One Where Rosita Dies

"Hey, thirty is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?"
"Late thirties?"
- Ross and Rachel in The One Where They All Turn Thirty

"Look, Rachel, I know what you're going through. I'm totally freaked about turning twenty-five."
- Tag in The One Where They All Turn Thirty

"They're killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies, her brain is being transplanted into my body."
"What? A brain transplant?!"
"Yes, it's a highly controversial procedure."
"It's ridiculous!"
"Well, I think it's ridiculous that you haven't had sex in three and a half months."
"It's winter! There are fewer people on the street!"
- Joey and Ross in The One With Joey's New Brain

"I'm Joey Tribbiani; we did a scene together yesterday. I... I'm the guy in the coma."
"Oh, that was a real person?"
- Joey and Cecilia in The One With Joey's New Brain

"You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!"
"How did you know about that?"
"We heard you play all the way from your apartment."
"Were you the ones called the cops?"
"That's not really important right now."
- Monica, Ross and Chandler in The One With Joey's New Brain

"How drunk are you?"
"Drunk enough to know that I want to do this, not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage."
"That's the perfect amount!"
- Chandler and Monica in The One With The Truth About London

"Rachel! What are you doing here?"
"Oh, you know. I was just in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd visit my good friend Carol."
"What's Carol's last name?"
"Carol...Lesbian?"
"Good one."
- Ross and Rachel in The One With The Truth About London

"Is your back feeling better?"
"Oh, yeah, it's fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasm out of control."
- Kristen and Ross in The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress

"You opened all the presents without me? I thought we were supposed to do that together!"
"You kissed another woman?"
"Call it even?"
"Okay!"
- Chandler and Monica in The One With The Red Sweater

"I teach the second grade."
"I love the second grade!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, it's so much better than first grade, where you don't know WHAT'S going on...and DEFINITELY better than third grade, with the politics and the mind games."
- Eric and Phoebe in The One Where Rachel Tells...

"Wha... married?"
"Well, yeah, I think we should get married!"
"What, because that's your answer to everything?"
- Rachel and Ross in The One Where Rachel Tells...

"Clearly you don't want people to see this tape. Now, I don't want people to see it either. But you so badly don't want people to see it that it makes me want to see it. Do you see?"
- Rachel in The One With The Videotape

"I just don't get it. We didn't do anything wrong!"
"I know. Although you did tell an awful lot of jokes."
- Chandler and Monica in The One With The Videotape

"He's my new sous chef."
"Oh, so you're her boss!
"No, actually, she's my boss. 'Sous' is French for 'under'."
"Oh, I sous-stand."
- Monica, Phoebe and Tim in The One With Rachel's Date

"Hey, what do you think is the better excuse for why I'm not drinking on this date tonight? Um, I'm a recovering alcoholic; I'm a Mormon; or, I got so hammered last night, I'm still a little drunk."
- Rachel in The One With Rachel's Date

"When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll?"
- Chandler in The One With The Soap Opera Party

"Hey, Joey said no autographs! But if she's getting one, I want one to. To Monica. And none of this 'best wishes' crap. I want Love.'"
"Okay, actually, uh, Mon, Matthew was giving me his phone number."
"Oh, man! If I had known I was coming to this party, I would have never got married!"
- Monica and Rachel in The One With The Soap Opera Party

"Oh, someone's a little cracky today because they have to do it in a cup. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, they gave you the kiddie size!"
- Janice in The One With The Fertility Test

"Apparently, my sperm have low motility, and you have an inhospitable environment."
"Oh. What does that mean?"
"It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers, and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do."
- Chandler and Monica in The One With The Fertility Test

"Can I have a tissue?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. I just hope you don't accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it."
- Monica and Phoebe in The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break

"They've been quiet for a really long time now."
"Maybe she killed him."
- Phoebe and Joey in The One The Morning After

"It's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship."
"It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship."
- Joey and Chandler in The One Without The Ski Trip

"So, ya know, that's why within a few years that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. So you can be, like... like, 'Wash my car,' 'Clean my room.' You know it's not gonna be able to do any of those things... but it'll understand what you're saying."
- Pete in The One With The Tiny T-Shirt

"Ross, you gotta stop, okay? You can't just stare through the peep-hole for three hours. You're gonna get peep-eye."
- Chandler in The One With The Tiny T-Shirt

"Do you guys know anything about chicks?"
"Fowl? No. Women? noo..."
- Phoebe and Chandler in The One With The Chick And A Duck

"You know, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbiani's apartment..."
"Yeah, life's pretty great, isn't it?"
- Rachel and Joey in The One That Could Have Been (II)

"Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, that's not enough. Look, I studied karate for a long time, and there's a concept you should really be familiar with. It's what the Japanese call unagi."
"Isn't that a kind of sushi?"
- Ross and Rachel in The One With Unagi

"Oh, it's bad. It's really bad. The only thing in there that isn't burned is an ax. Which I do not remember buying!"
- Phoebe in The One Where Ross Dates A Student

"Oh, uh, I had trouble remembering everyone's name, so I...I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly Von Brownshirt."
- Ross in The One Where Ross Dates A Student

"I'm up for the part of Mac Macavelli or 'Mac.' Yeah, I'm a detective, and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. He's a... he's a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or, or 'C.H.E.E.S.E'."
- Joey in The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E.

"Aren't you dressed yet?"
"Am I naked again?"
- Monica and Chandler in The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E.

"Think about all the money that you're gonna make!"
"Why? What?"
"Well, her father pays you for baby-sitting right?"
- Monica and Ross in The One Where Paul's The Man

"Wow. Isn't it ironic that David comes back from Russia the day that you and Mike exchange house keys?"
"Yeah, and you know, given my life-long search for irony, you can imagine HOW HAPPY I AM!!!"
- Monica and Phoebe in The One With The Male Nanny

"Oh, she's precious. Do you ever worry that she's gonna get your real nose?"
- Amy in The One With Rachel's Other Sister

"I don't know how to tell you this, but I think Monica's cheating on ya. I told you you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you! Alright, if you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna!"
- Joey in The One With Rachel's Phone Number

"Hey, you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. You are the head of the household. I don't do anything. I am a kept man."
"You are! Hey, here's twenty bucks. Why don't you buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow."
- Chandler and Monica in The One With Christmas In Tulsa

"I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be? Right? 'Cheese: It's milk...that you chew.' 'Crackers: Because your cheese needs a buddy.' 'Grapes: Because who can get a watermelon in your mouth'?"
- Chandler in The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work

"The Phone: Bringing you closer to people who have phones."
- Chandler in The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work

"You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it's the two of us, like college. Remember? First you break the ice with some kind of a joke, so they know that you're the funny one. Then I swoop in, with some interesting converstation, so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one."
"I thought I got to make the jokes."
- Ross and Chandler in The One Where Monica Sings

"Can you totally see through that shirt?"
"Like an X-ray. Bad day not to wear a bra."
- Phoebe and Mike in The One Where Monica Sings

"You better hope I'm pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel!"
- Monica in The One With The Blind Dates

"Before I start, I just wanna say that, um, I have a cold. So if I sneeze in the middle of a song, it's not on

purpose. Oh! Except the last verse of Pepper People."
- Phoebe in The One With Joey's New Girlfriend

"Hey, Gunther. Have you seen Chandler?"

"I thought you were Chandler...Well, one of you is over there."
- Gunther and Joey in The One With Chandler In A Box

"Didn't you read 'Lord of the Rings' in high school?"

"No, I had sex in high school."
- Ross and Joey in The One Where They're Going To Party!

"I'm not stopping! I'm RED ROSS!"
"Dude, you go back out there, and you're gonna be Dead Ross."
- Ross and Joey in The One With All The Rugby

"I'm only pretend-moving to Yemen, okay? It's the only way I can get rid of her."
"Oh, good one! And 'Yemen,' that actually sounds like a real country!"
- Chandler and Joey in The One With All The Rugby

"Oh, I don't know if I feel right about this."
"Monica, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex."
- Monica and Chandler in The One After Ross Says Rachel

"This is worse than when he married the lesbian."
- Mr. Gellar in The One After Ross Says Rachel

"Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake, right?"
- Joey in The One After Ross Says Rachel

"Listen, Alice is gonna be here so soon. You couldn't do me a favor and, like, hold 'em in?"
"Sorry, Frank. I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do."
- Frank and Phoebe in The One With The Triplets

"Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?"
- Rachel in The One Where Underdog Gets Away

"You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt, but not a mom."

-Joey in The One With Mrs. Bing

"Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and you know why?"
"The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?"
- Mrs. Bing and Ross in The One With Mrs. Bing

"She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there."

"Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever."
- Ross and Joey in The One With The Lesbian Wedding

"Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks."
- Chandler in The One With The Lesbian Wedding

"A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so cliche Why don't you guys get a magician?"

"Well, if the magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then alright."
- Phoebe and Chandler in The One With All The Jealousy

"Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck."
- Joey in The One With Ross's Thing

"And hey, it's NOT that common, it DOESN'T happen to every guy and it IS a big deal!"
"I knew it!"
- Rachel and Chandler in The One With The Jellyfish

"We were on a break!"
"Oh my God! If you say that one more time, I'M going to break up with you!"
- Ross and Chandler in The One With The Jellyfish

"Condoms?"
"Hey, you don't know how long we're gonna be in here. We may have to repopulate the earth."
"And condoms are the way to do that."
- Chandler and Joey in The One With The Kips

"Okay, what is in here? Rocks?"
"No, no. This is my collection of fossil samples."
"So... rocks."
- Chandler and Ross in The One With The Yeti

"I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna be screwed up for a long time. And besides, y'know, I don't... I don't go for guys right after they get divorced."
"Right. You only go for them five minutes before they get married."
- Rachel and Monica in The One Where Ross Moves In

"Okay, Phoebe you pull, I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can."
"Hehehehe"
"Joey, NOW is not the time!"
- Monica and Joey in The One WIth The Thanksgiving Flashbacks

"Chandler, you have the best taste in men!"
"Well, like father, like son."
- Rachel and Chandler in The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie

"Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe."
"Oh? It's not Christmas."
"Or Spin the Bottle?"
"And he's not 11!"
- Monica and Rachel in The One With The Fake Party

"So you wore your nightie to dinner?"
"Yes, and the best part was when the waiter spilled water down my back, and I jumped up and my boob popped out."
"Oh, no!"
"No, it's all right. I've got nice boobs."
- Monica and Rachel in The One With Rachel's New Dress

"You've only known her six weeks! I have a carton of milk in my refrigerator that I've had a longer relationship with!"
- Chandler in The One With All The Haste

"Oh, so being a good friend means acting like a total jerk?"
"If it does, then you're an amazing friend of mine."
- Chandler and Ross in The One With The Inappropriate Sister

"Do you want to learn to play guitar?"
"Yes."
"Then don't touch one!"
- Phoebe and Joey in The One With All The Resolutions

"My New Year's Resolution is to pilot a commercial jet plane."
"That's great Pheebs, now all you have to do is find a plane load of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths."
- Phoebe and Chandler in The One With All The Resolutions

"But, it is odd how a woman's purse looks so good on me, a man."
"Exactly--unisex."
"Maybe you need sex, but I had sex a couple days ago."
"No, no, no. No, Joey. U-N-I-sex."
"Well, I ain't gonna say no that."
- Joey and Rachel in The One With Joey's Bag

"Joey, that bag is gonna get you that part."
"And a man."
- Rachel and Chandler in The One With Joey's Bag

"Lily's dead."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, if she isn't, cremating her was a big mistake."
- Phoebe and Frank in The One With Joey's Bag

"Well, come here. I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex."
"You should be. I'm very bendy."
- Chandler and Phoebe in The One Where Everybody Finds Out

"They don't know that we know they know we know."
- Phoebe in The One Where Everybody Finds Out

"I was really confused and then I talked to these guys."
"Who? Two-divorces, and Joey?"
- Chandler and Monica in The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey

"It just seems like Ross is the kind of guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge."
- Joey in The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress

"I just like him SO much that I feel like I've had ten drinks today, and I've only had six!"
- Phoebe in The One With Joey's Award

"Um, I, uh... I'm your teacher. I'm sorry, you're... you're a student, and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs."
- Ross in The One With Joey's Award

"And the winner is... Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldn't be with us tonight so I'll be accepting this award on her behalf. And I'm sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. She'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel who's sittin' right there!"
- Joey in The One With Joey's Award

"How can you not remember us kissing?"
"I don't know. I don't remember a lot of things that never happened."
- Rachel and Melissa in The One With Rachel's Big Kiss

"You know, nine out of ten marriages end in divorce."
"Phoebe, that's not true."
"Yeah, you're right. How's the Mrs.?"
- Phoebe and Ross in The One With The Vows

"Oh, Rach! Rach! Um, hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandler's dad, and try to keep him away from Chandler's mom?"
"Yeah. But I don't know what he looks like!"
"He is the man in the black dress."
- Monica and Rachel in The One With Chandler and Monica's Wedding (I)

"Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant?"
"Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut!"
- Rachel and Joey in The One With Chandler And Monica's Wedding (I)

"Monica, we need more candy."
"There've only been, like, four kids."
I know, but one of them just said she loved me, so I gave her everything."
"No wonder you're pregnant."
- Rachel, Monica and Phoebe in The One With The Halloween Party

"Absolutely. Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas. And their birthdays. They get a little crazy during the summer, too. And anytime they're hungry or sleepy. Yeah, kids are tough. Good luck with that."
- Joey in The One With The Halloween Party

"I am so stupid. Of course she was lying. She's not a teacher. There's no such thing as The Top Secret Elementary School for the Children of Spies."
- Eric in The One With The Halloween Party

"You're moving?"
"Yeah. I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, 'How you doin'?"
- Ross and Rachel in The One With The Stain

"I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day. I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah."
- Phoebe in The One With The Stripper

"Look at her standing there. My two worst enemies, Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates."
- Will in The One With The Rumor

"Hi. I'd shake your hand, but it would be better for my ego if we don't stand next to each other."
- Chandler in The One With The Rumor

"What?"
"He said 'erectus'!"
- Charlie and Joey in The One In Barbados (II)

"I'm sorry, this has never happened to me before. I'm an expert at taking off bras. I can do it with one hand. I can do it with my eyes closed. One time I just looked at one and it popped open! I blame your bra!"
- Joey in The One With Ross's Tan

(http://www.tbs.com/stories/story/0,,205795,00.html)

Others:

CHANDLER: We have to assign heads to something.

JOEY: Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.

CHANDLER: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?

(-The one with the baby on the bus)

Phoebe: Ok, I got an idea. If it’s a girl, Phoebe, naturally. And, if it’s a boy… Phoebo.

(The one where Chandler takes a bath)

Monica: Oh, baths are so relaxing!

Chandler: Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.

(Ditto)

Pheebe: And here's something rich: thirteen bathrooms in this place... I threw up in the coat closet... Ta taaa...

(-The one with Ross´s inappropriate song)

Joey: That is not a cat.

Rachel: Yes, it is!

Ross: Why is it inside out?

(-The one with the ball)